Reindeer games for Mom

I've decided to have some guest bloggers, and I figured that getting funny stories that involve our parents would be a great topic. I happen to have a bunch of stories that are hilarious about my parents, especially my wonderful Mom. She will not be happy to have these out there for all the world to see, but then I don't have THAT many followers, right? Ha! She's a good sport, so I'm sure she'll say, "Thanks a lot, BRAT!" And she'll press on with life.

One time when I was in high school many years ago... Wait, it wasn't THAT many years ago.. Okay, it was a good many years ago... Anyway! I was walking home from the bus stop and I noticed that pretty much all of the neighborhood kids were surrounding my back yard. What the ...? I walk in the house to find my mother pacing and freaking out! There was something terrifying in the back yard apparently, but it sure didn't seem to scare all of the neighborhood kids.

Now my parents intentionally bought the house they live in because all that was behind it was a golf course. So they figured no one could ever build behind them, right? Makes sense. But through the years, they have had some interesting creatures wander into their yard because that's the bonus of living near nature. Nature normally loves my mother because she won't let us harm any of God's creatures. (You never know where she has bird's nests around that place.)  This was going to be a first for her though.

Apparently, this scary creature.. or one like it... (And I know I could have gone to Mom's and dug out the picture of the real one, but still!) was inside the fenced-in back yard.

What the hell is everyone looking at?

You have to understand that my mother was all about her yard, and always has been. She had walked into the back yard to find this deer. Her first thought is that the deer is probably thirsty, so I'll go get a bucket of water. Seriously? That was your first thought when seeing a freaking deer in the back yard? I don't know about you all, but that wouldn't have been my first thought. Maybe, "How the hell do I get the deer out of the yard?" Or even, "What the hell?" 

She comes back with her bucket of water for the deer, and apparently the deer decided this lady was loony tunes and needed to get some exercise. He starts chasing her around the yard. 

Not the expression I picture my mom having on her face...

Now, I never knew that deer had a predatory side to them, but she swears it happened. We had an above-ground pool at the time, so here is the deer chasing my poor mother around and around the pool. Have the visual yet? For some reason I have always pictured her running with the bucket of water, too! Ya know, getting soaked and hollering at the deer the whole time, "I was just trying to be nice and give you some water! I'm good with nature. Didn't the others tell you?"

At some point she makes a break for it and runs into the house. I assume she's soaked at this point, because like I said, in my mind she was running with a bucket full of water. 

Somehow word gets around, though I'm not sure there were any actual witnesses to the running escapade. She calls the game warden to come get the deer out of the yard, so we all watch this deer walk around the back yard like he has every right to be there. 

The game warden arrives and wants to put the deer down right in the back yard. What the hell? There are children around, morons! Do you really want to kill Bambi right in front of their innocent little eyes? Of course, we talk them into just tranquilizing the deer so we can tell all the kids that the deer is just taking a nap. When they are able to get close to the deer, they find it had cut itself on its chest probably from the cross ties on the top of the fence when it jumped in. So when Mom moseyed out into the yard, he just got spooked because he didn't want to battle that treacherous fence to get back out. 

Needless to say, we have tormented Mom for many years about her bond with nature and all of the creatures she comes into contact with. Do you have a funny story about your parents you'd like to guest blog about? Let me know! Jumble Mash is coming up with something for me now, and I think Mynx is going to give it a whirl, too.