Some house cleaning.. the fun kind!

I have been forgetting to do some things for a while now, so I figured I'd use today to take care of them.

First of all, I don't think I ever formally thanked Mynx over at Dribble.. I won a hot firemen calendar from her a couple months ago that I have been trying not to drool too badly on in this wonderful year of 2011. Just so you know I really got the calendar from my friend Down Under, I'd like you to meet Shane.

Doesn't he make you want to get stuck in a car just so he'll come cut you out of it? Well, I do. I'm willing to work for my eye candy! As long as he does his job with his shirt off like in this picture.

Holy crap! I'd probably need mouth to mouth after he cut me out. No, I would DEFINITELY need mouth to mouth after he cut me out.

I put the calendar beside the fridge. What better incentive than to see hot guys looking at you when you go for the fridge, huh? I'm pretty smart that way.

Okay, I'm pulling it together now.. I think. Isn't he purrrrty? Thanks, Mynx!

My next house cleaning chore is to thank Megan Crane (the author) and especially my blogging and Twitter girlfriend Canadian Blogger Girl. She did an interview with Megan a while back on her blog, and I won an autographed copy of one of her books. It came in the mail this week so I thought I'd share it.

And for those who wanted to see the personalization which I absolutely loved about it...

I thought it was pretty damn cool. Thanks, CBG and Megan (not that Megan will probably ever see this)! I will cherish it forever, and I'm sure I'll be singing her praises once I read it.

Finally Vicki at Glitter Frog thought I was special enough to get this little gem.

It came with some instructions I'm sure, but it's Saturday dammit! I am tired and I have homework to do, unfortunately. So I'm sorry if I'm being a slacker on this one. I REALLY love it though, Vicki! Thanks so much, and you all should go check her out. Go on!...  Wait!... Comment here first, 'cuz I'm a comment whore.

White lies don't count, right?

Source

Yesterday, I listed 5 things and told you to figure out which one was true. Well, they all had some level of truth to them, so I didn't TOTALLY lie to you. Your comments were cracking me the hell up though! It took everything I had not to comment back, but I was afraid I would give something away. I'm really surprised more of you didn't pick the correct one, but I think you were all concentrating on the one answer a little more than I expected. I see how you all are, and that's why I love each and every one of you!

I think I am going to be like Mynx and just say, if you haven't done this one yet then go steal the button for the award off of my post yesterday and consider it gifted to you. So many of you have already done it that I don't want to make you repeat it.

On with the answers!

1. I own 3 guns and plan to take the class to be able to carry a concealed weapon.

I actually own 2 guns, a shotgun and a pistol. The shotgun was a gift from my ex-husband. Yes, he's a hopeless romantic. Do you see why I couldn't bear to be with him anymore? The pistol I bought myself, but I do plan on going to get the license to be able to carry a concealed weapon. Pretty much my whole family is going to do it.


2. I once dropped a pickle jar on my foot and my sister came in to help but passed out from seeing all of the blood.

This was the most popular selection for all of you. This did really happen, but not to me. Sister #1 passed out when she found Sister #3 with her foot bleeding from dropping a pickle jar on it. Mom came in and had to take both of them to the hospital.


3. I was pregnant once.

I was actually pregnant twice when I was married a LONG time ago. I had two miscarriages. Long story, but they think it was because of my husband's "contribution." Anyway, no sympathy needed as it ended up being a blessing of sorts since I didn't have to spend the rest of my life dealing with the jerk-wad and his crazy ass family!


4. I performed the wedding ceremony to marry my nephew to his wife.

This is actually the one that is true. I am a notary public, and in the state of South Carolina that's all you need to be able to marry a couple. They wanted to get married 2 years ago before Christmas so I offered to do it to save them some money. 


5. I have been caught by the cops having sex in a car 3 times.

I am so sorry to disappoint you all, but this only happened 2 times. This was the second most popular answer, but really the first if I went with what you all WANTED the answer to be. So you all wanted me to be this wanton woman who has sex in a car all the time? I see! It actually happened both times with my ex when we were engaged. Hey, we both lived with our parents so where else were we supposed to do it? The really embarrassing part was that his best friend's Mom heard about the first time on the police scanner the night it happened. I was MORTIFIED to be around that woman for the longest time after that. But it's kinda sorta true, so are you happy with that? 

I wouldn't lie to you!

I got this little ditty from lyndylou over at The Giggle Fest on Friday. Ain't it cute? She is a funny Scottish lass who you will really enjoy so go check her out. Wait, now. After you read this, and comment. Then you should go check her out. Sometimes she doesn't wear anything under her kilt, fellas. Honest!

Now I have to tell you 4 lies about myself and 1 truth, and it's your job to figure out which one is the truth. This immediately got my evil mind to working. Hmmmm... Oh, the web of lies I could weave. Wait, I hate spiders. Get that out of my head now! Awwww.. Look at the cute bear on the picture. Much better... Ahem.

So here I go with the lies... or are they lies?

1. I own 3 guns and plan to take the class to be able to carry a concealed weapon.

2. I once dropped a pickle jar on my foot and my sister came in to help but passed out from seeing all of the blood.

3. I was pregnant once.

4. I performed the wedding ceremony to marry my nephew to his wife.

5. I have been caught by the cops having sex in a car 3 times.

Which one is the truth? I hope I made it hard enough for you to throw you off the scent. I'll pass this on tomorrow, but feel free to tell me if you haven't received this one so I'm not making people repeat the same award they've just gotten.

Friday Wrap-Ups and other silly stuff

I have a bunch of little things I need to take care of with you all today and some funny news things I just have to address. First and foremost.. It's Friday! Wooo hooo! I am so glad because this has been a long damn week. I am ready to get my weekend started even though I have a lot to do around the house.

Source

Secondly, I have to announce the winner to my first giveaway. After randomly assigning you all numbers, I used one of those automated generator thingies and Jimmy from Jimmy's Opinion won the gift card to CSN Stores. Congrats! I know he will be so thrilled about this since it's what he's always wanted, I'm sure. Well, maybe he can give it to his wife or someone if he doesn't want it. If you don't follow his blog though, you should go check him out. (I'll email you the information for the gift card, Jimmy.)

Now on to more fun stuff. Did you all hear about the smugglers at the US/Mexican border trying to use a catapult to launch drugs over the border into the United States south of Arizona? Freaking. Medieval. Catapult!

Source

The US Border Patrol saw what was going on and informed the Mexican authorities so they could be detained. This just goes to show how desperate they are with the crackdown on Arizona borders. Those guys are sitting over there going, "Shit! How do we get our drugs in now?" 

"Fuck it! Let's just throw it over. I know, a CATAPULT!" 

"Dude, that would be classic, ese." (Don't ask me why he sounds like a combination surfer/Mexican. He just does, okay? Shaddup!)

I love that the Border Patrol guy said he had never seen anything like that, but that they are trained for anything. Huh? If you've never seen anything like that, how are you trained for it? 

On another note, someone has officially proven that it doesn't matter what your degree is in as long as you get one. A Canadian woman who attended Liverpool Hope University is the first person to get a Masters degree in Beatles studies. No, I don't mean the bugs. I mean the freaking Beatles! Someone please explain to me what the hell you do with that degree? I'm trying to think of how that conversation would have gone with her parents when she made the decision to enter that program. I know my parents would have told me I'd lost my damn mind. I'm thinking "you're an idiot" and "who the hell is going to pay you to do something with that for the rest of your life?" would have been stated at some point. 

That's about as brilliant as this sign someone put on the sink in our kitchen at work the other day.

 

Finally, I mentioned that I got an award yesterday. I actually got it from two different people. On My Soapbox and The Habitual Hobbit both think I'm funny enough to have granted me this little gem.

Thanks so much to both of you! Please go check out their blogs, because I think you'll love them. This award means a lot to me because you all know I try to make people laugh if nothing else. Even in my rants, I can be pretty humorous at times. At least I think so, and obviously someone else agrees... or, two someones. 

Now, I am supposed to give this to 7 people and tell you 7 things about myself. Honestly, I don't think I'm going to pass it on simply because I have seen this award around A LOT lately. I know there are some of you who still deserve this award, and I'm sure you will be getting it. Just not from me. Not right now. I'm being a rebel today, can ya tell? 

So Happy Friday, everyone! Have a great weekend, half-assed or not. :)

I'm feeling the love!

I am so blessed to have such great followers and blogging friends! Over the weekend, I ended up getting TWO awards so my week started off wonderfully. However, I was so busy yesterday that I didn't get a chance to tell you about them here. I also have a giveaway (my first ever... yay!) coming up probably tomorrow so make sure you check back for that. I'll address the awards separately since they have different rules to them.

Canadian Blogger Girl thinks I'm stylish or likes my blog anyway, but she thought enough of me to give me this awesome award. I think she was one of the earlier blogs I started following, so you should go check her out. She has some great stories about her wacky neighbors, but I think she deserves an award for living next to them!  I guess if I'm going to have such a snazzy award on my blog, I better spruce up the place. Expect that soon, since I've been meaning to do so anyway. In any event, thank you CBG! You rock, woman!

Here are the rules for the award:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award
2. Share 5 things about yourself
3. Award 5 recently discovered great bloggers
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award 

Five things about myself... I'm trying to come up with things that you all don't know about me yet.
1. I've worn glasses since before I could walk.
2. I have always secretly wanted to become an author.
3. I record General Hospital religiously every day though I'm insanely behind on watching it.
4. I listen to Country music more than any other type normally.
5. My favorite board game is Monopoly.

Recently discovered great bloggers.. There have been so many since the holidays that I found, but I guess I'll have to go with these folks. It's so hard to choose, and I'm trying to spread the love a bit to those I don't think have gotten the award. Please go check them out!

1. Vicki at Glitter Frog .. I found her on Twitter recently, but she has been so worth it. Go read about the crackhead she met recently, and vote for her in a competition she's in if you don't mind.
2. The Adorkable Ditz.. She is young but is wise beyond her years. And she always leaves great comments.
3. Robyn at Life by Chocolate.. She is about to embark on a great new career, and I can't wait to read about it. Don't miss her! I think I found her on Twitter, too.
4. Alessandra at The Life and Times of A. Nighbert.. I simply love her, and I'm sure you will, too. Another great one for comments. :)
5. Average Girl at It's an Average Life.. Okay, this one is my "fudge" on the rules. I didn't find her recently (unless you consider my entire blog to be recent), but she needed to be given an award called "Stylish." She has a new, really nice look to her blog, and I thought she needed some lovin'. Go check her out.

Ib at The Habitual Hobbit totally caught me off guard with this award. I guess I just haven't talked to him much, so I wasn't expecting it. But I was so excited, and it looks like it's been going around a lot lately. His blog is pretty great, and he actually informed me I'm "naughty" the other day. You'll have to go read it to find out why.

For this award, I have to link back to the award giver, answer some questions, and pass the award on. Here are the questions I'm supposed to answer.

1. If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so that you could be anonymous now? I am semi-anonymous, but I wish I had started out 100% anonymous. Some of my friends and family have the link to my blog and occasionally pop over to read it. Unfortunately, if I Google my real name some of my early posts come up when I used to have my full name on it. So I am limited on things I can vent about, especially work if I ever wanted to. I am loving the blog world though, so I wouldn't change finding all of you. I might start a completely anonymous one sometime though.


2. Describe an incident that shows your inner stubborn side. Seriously? You're asking a Taurus this question? Ummm, which one do I pick? Okay, I firmly believe that M&M's are the best candy ever, and no one will convince me otherwise! Yeah, it's cheesy, but I'm stubborn about a lot of things.


3. What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror? I see a woman who cares very deeply for her family and friends. She can be stubborn, but she will stand up for those she believes in to the end. She needs to take care of herself more and have fun more often like she used to. 


4. What is your favourite summer cold drink? Iced tea, without a doubt!


5. When you take time for yourself, what do you do? Normally, I curl up to a good book or movie. I'm thinking bubble baths need to get back into my life, so I see them making a comeback. I haven't done that in forever! (Is Bailey going to try to get in the tub with me?)


6. Is there something that you still want to accomplish in your life? So many things... I think I mentioned above that I'd love to be a published author. Maybe my publishing world will be the internet through a blog that can make me some change, but who knows? I would seriously love to buy a house someday though. I also hope that I can leave this world having made an impression on my nieces and nephews. I love them all more than they'll ever know. 


7. When you attended school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person or always ditching? I guess I was a bit of the first two. I finished pretty high in my class, and I was always out to make sure everyone had a good time. I was pretty outgoing.


8. If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see? I think it would have to be holding my oldest nephew for the first time. I was only 12, and I remembering being so fascinated with this little person. I am now fascinated by the man, husband, and father he has become. 


9. Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events? Well, I have to make myself open up sometimes, and I tend to joke about things to keep my life from getting too intense. So I guess I do share my true self in my blog in that way. Honestly, I don't think I can be too honest about emotions and feelings without it hurting me or someone else in my life because I am not anonymous here, but isn't that the ironic part? As far as sharing experiences though, I'm pretty much an open book.


10. If you had the choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why? I would definitely read a book. I really don't like talking on the phone much, so that's something that's usually reserved for when I've had a few cocktails. 


Okay, are you bored to tears yet? Last thing and I'll let you go! Who do I pass this one to?


Sam over at A Redhead Named Sam.. She said she could help me spruce this place up (and I'm about to take her up on that), and I've enjoyed her posts since the first day I stumbled onto her blog. 


Stephanie over at Seriously??... Reeeally?... Seriously?.. She was an early find for me, and she has always cracked me up. She's a fellow animal (and especially dog) lover, and I feel so terrible for her recent loss. So go give her some blog love, but please be respectful of her wishes on her Scooby post. 


I'm all done for now. You can go if you must. 

I'm Irresistible! .. Wait, is she laughing at me?

Lyndylou over at The Giggle Fest gave me an award this week which totally brought my New Year in with a bang! Since she likes to giggle, I'm thinking she was being ironic by giving me this award?

But I guess I just make her laugh with my mom stories, and she loved my Then and Now post last week. Isn't the award yummy?! I forgive her for giving me sweets since she didn't know I was trying to be healthy before she gave me this award, but hey, it has strawberries. So it can't be too bad for me, right? RIGHT? I thought so, and I'm sure Dr. Oz would agree. I'll have that dessert with my wine and it will be even healthier. Thank you so much, lyndylou! I love it.

So I guess there are a couple of rules to this award. I have to tell you of 5 guilty pleasures and pass it on to 3 bloggers. Now you know with my new healthy living thing, this is going to make me think of things I really shouldn't have, but it's not all about food! I'm sure there are other guilty pleasures I have. I just have to think of them. Surely they'll come to me... Right?.. Here goes...

Guilty Pleasures
1. The sweetest sound in the world is a baby's laugh. As most of you know, I'm single with no children of my own (except the furry kind) so I live through all of my nieces and nephews. Hearing any one of the babies laugh just brings a joy to me that I can never explain. I can even be in a grocery store or something and hear a baby laugh, and no matter what kind of mood I'm in it will make me smile.

2. Watching sports is another love of mine. Watching my Steelers or Penguins (especially those two, though I have other loves) win a Championship is one of the greatest feelings in my life. Luckily, they've given me a lot to celebrate in my lifetime. Now if I can just get the Pirates to sell to Mark Cuban, maybe we can get them to win again!

3. Puppy breath! What is it about puppy breath? I just want to eat them up and hug them to pieces. I am seriously thinking about getting another puppy since the cat thing didn't work out with Bailey. I'm still trying to decide.

4. Chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate! You knew I had to throw a food in there, and chocolate is the bestest food ever! I usually limit myself to chocolate ice cream being in the house when I have a craving, but I could pretty much hurt myself on anything that involves chocolate.

Okay, this lady has to be on crack!

5. Reading has to be in my top 5. Curling up on the couch in cozy pajamas, under a blanket, on a rainy day is one of the best ways to spend time. With my Kindle now, it's even nicer because I don't even have to have a free hand to hold the book or turn pages. All I have to have is a free finger to hit the button. Heaven!

 Image from here.

So now who do I pass this gem off to? 

1. Barb over at This and That (As I Bounce Thru' Life) because she is such a sweet person and always has a kind word to say in comments to people. She is also a fellow South Carolinian (well, she lives here anyway) which is what first caught my attention about her. I love her so go check her out! I'm sure she's probably gotten this award before, but she came to mind first.

2. The Tame One over at Thoughts of an Oxymoron because she makes me laugh and I can't resist her blog. The things she says on her blog and in comments makes me feel like I've found a kindred spirit. I hope that doesn't scare the bejeezus out of her. She will make you laugh even if you aren't as crazy as we are.

3. Jimmy over at Jimmy's Opinion because he is such a family man and always has encouraging words to say to everyone. He'll warm your heart and always makes you feel like there's someone out there who cares about what you have to say.

Okay, enough mushiness. I love the award, lyndylou! Those guilty pleasures used up all of my brain power for the day. I wonder if that burned calories? I lost 3 pounds, by the way. Yay, me! Not bad in two days...   

Jumble Love and Piss Brownies.. You heard me right!

Jumble Mash gave me an award! Isn't it cool? I absolutely love it, and since I love it when people think what I have to say is funny, that makes it all the more better! Yes, I said "more better" but I just got an award, so did you expect me to be coherent? Really! Anyway... Thank you, Jumble Mash! I am so tickled you found me (or I found you.. however it happened) because you have done so much for me and my little blog. You rock, woman! All of you other people, go follow her if you aren't already. You will not regret it, and the fact that she points out funny blogs should show you that she is one funny chica.

So there are a few rules to this award, but they are pretty simple.

1. Thank the person who gave you the award. (Check, check! Done it twice now.Once here and once there.) 

2. Tell a funny story to accept the award.. or at least tell a joke. (Oh the pressure!)

3. Only pass on to ONE other blogger. (Only ONE???? Holy crap! Do you know how hard it is to limit a Taurus???)

4. Now stand up and do a happy dance. (Check, check! Doing that for the second time now, and no, you can't have video of it! It's not a pretty sight. Trust me.) 

Funny story.. Funny story.. Come to me, dammit! I got nothin'. 

(Several minutes later... ) Don't you just want to smack that blinking cursor at times like these? Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to make that cursor blink, anyway?

(Still later... ) Oh, yeah! I was telling a friend about this story on Facebook the other day, and I've been meaning to blog about it, so here goes. 

I used to be the President of the Board for the Booster Club for a local minor league hockey team. We raised money to provide things for the hockey players because most of them basically came to town with clothes, their hockey equipment, and not much else, especially the single ones. Plus, we had parties and things for them. Anyway, we had this guy in the front office who used to fight us every chance he got on things we wanted to do. He really was the only obstacle we had at the time, and he was an arrogant ass. He would tell us we could do something only to wait until we had spent money on said project before changing his mind. Like I said.. He was an ASS!

Now we used to tailgate before and after hockey games on the weekends, because you know southerners will tailgate for anything. Everyone had their specialties that they made and contributed to the food pile, and one of our friends made the most awesome brownies you have EVER had. I think they had some kind of cream cheese icing on them. You know anything with cream cheese is good, because I'm pretty sure it was made by God himself.

So as the night was winding down, I forget for sure, but I think it was my friend Misty who was trying to give away the last of the food. She accidentally flipped the last "awesome brownie" onto the pavement in the parking lot. Five second rule, right? It was immediately scooped up and put back into the pan. Misty and I end up getting into a conversation about how many drunk guys had probably pissed in the parking lot, so there was NO WAY either of us were going to eat it. But we hated to waste it.

Right about this time, up walks the asshole asking if there were any of those brownies left. How perfect! We didn't waste any time handing it over with a smile. We got a hysterical laugh out of how we made him eat the piss brownie, whether there was really piss on it or not. Of course, he thought we were a couple of Simpletons (and I proudly wear that name now thanks to Simple Dude, so note the capital S!) who couldn't help but giggle about his awesomeness as he was walking away. Little did he know. It was our little private victory for all the anguish he had put us through. Well, it wasn't so private since we pretty much told anyone who would listen what we had done. 

Now, who do I give this wonderful gem of an award to? Honestly, I think I'll pay the Jumble Love forward to the Simple Dude, since I already gave him some blog love anyway. Go visit him if you haven't already. He makes me laugh, and I love anyone who makes me literally laugh out loud. 

My first award!

I got my first award the other day from my fairly new blogging friend Bruce over at brucejohnson JADIP! He's actually got two blogs so go check him out. He's a Wings fan, but I forgive him for that most times since he's pretty real about hockey and definitely real about life. And he's an animal lover like me, which always makes for a good person.

I was so excited about getting the award that I almost fell out of my chair. Now granted I am not near my 101st post yet, but I think it's just been passed on and I will love it and cherish it as my first. Thanks, Bruce!

So I guess I need to pay this forward. Here are the ones I think you should check out who have been so great to be some of my first followers outside of my ring of friends.

Joyce over at Hapless Tigger is a good friend of mine that I found on Facebook. She is great and definitely broadens my horizons with her posts. When I first started doing my blog, she was the first to get me excited about it. Love her to pieces so go check her out.

Tress at Jumble Mash definitely has to have this since she was my very first follower who I didn't know anything about. She is so sweet and always takes the time out to comment on posts, especially when I feel like I am talking to myself at times.

Mynx over at Dribble is my kindred spirit. Even though we live worlds apart she makes me feel like she is in this crazy world with me.

So there are my shout-outs for now. I already have the name for the award I'm going to create. I just need to come up with the design, so stay tuned. Some of you will be getting this award (who am I kidding, probably all of you at some point since I love you all!), and it's going to be stupendous!

I've had a few people pop their heads in recently to check out my blog, but most of them aren't following me yet that I can tell. I hope I can entertain you enough to stick around! I truly do appreciate all of your thoughts and comments. TGIF, everyone!