Thursday, December 30, 2010

Then and Now

My dad got my mom this picture frame for Christmas that had "Then and Now" on the top of it. He had their wedding photo and the photo I took at their 50th anniversary party in it. It kinda choked us up some, but it was a great gift.

It got me to thinking since I've been craving music from "back then" for me. They just don't have groups like we had in the 80's that were truly ROCK! Nickelback is about the closest thing to anything I can stand in modern music. I feel so old. I found this great station on Yahoo Music that I've been listening to at work that is 1980's rock. It's not some of the pop stuff like Spandau Ballet or anything like that. It's more of the bands like Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, and Kiss among others. I have been enjoying it and making myself a list of some music I want to go download.

I know a lot of people are upset because of some groups crossing over to country. I don't see it as a cross-over as much as the fact that country has changed so much over the years. Much of it now is what I used to call Rock. I almost fell out when I saw Nickelback on CMT with their song, "This Afternoon."
Anyway, I recently saw a picture of an old rocker, so I thought it would be fun to look up some groups to see what they looked like now. Let's see how they aged. So here is my "Then and Now" for some groups I used to listen to all the time.
Def Leppard was a personal favorite of mine in the 80's and still today. Joe Elliott was HOT!
They still look pretty damn good. I saw them in concert again when they hit 20 years, and they still rock! Of course, the biggest "then and now" difference is Rick Allen being minus an arm that I believe he still had in the earlier photo. It still amazes me to watch him play the drums, and I've always admired the group for standing by him and helping him get back on stage.
I never really cared much for David Lee Roth as far as looks go, but geez let the scraggly hair go already!

I think we all knew Mike Reno (Loverboy) was going to have a weight problem, but the bandanna does not hide the fact that you are going bald, Dude!

Bryan Adams hasn't changed much at all.
Motley Crue knew how to grow hair, didn't they?
They have aged pretty well for the most part, with the exception of Vince. 
I can't imagine how much money was spent on hair product and bleach for Brett and C.C. alone (Poison).
I think they still use more product than I do.
Ratt.. We knew how to do hair in the 80's, that's for sure.
Not bad here either, except for Stephen Pearcy. He needs to let the hair go, too. I bought one of their newer CD's several years ago, and it was awesome! So they still have the sound.
*Sigh* .. Bon Jovi.. Remember how they hid the fact that he got married because they were afraid he would lose fans? Ha!
He has definitely aged the best of any 80's person I've seen. I remember that CNN even covered it when he cut his hair off. My mother has even always known who he is, and she says his name right! That should tell you something. 

So these are just a few who came to mind in my search. Who did you like that you listened to when you were a teenager? Have you seen them or heard what they are up to now? Do you have trouble listening to modern music or have you adapted to the new sounds and music trends? Tell me if you know of others I might need to check out that I might like. 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Talkative Taurus Award Revealed!

I was trying to think of what I wanted to post today when I remembered I haven't revealed the Talkative Taurus blog award yet. Hmmmm... What should the rules be? I already know who the award is going to because that was decided immediately after reading a certain post last week. It had me rolling laughing! So as much as I would love to give this award to all of my wonderful peeps, this one just had to be done.
Yes, that's my baby, Bailey. She was still a puppy there and was a tad mad at me. Can you tell? I thought the picture was fitting.

The first official "Stop the Madness" award goes to Miley at Musings of a Confused Woman for her post, "NOBODY I know is normal (really)."  If you don't follow her, you should! At the very least, you have got to read that post. It is freaking hilarious!

On to the rules.. This award should be given to one blogger you follow and granted because of a certain post where they just really cracked you up, or they pointed out something that was so outrageous or crazy that it just made you think, "Holy crap! Stop the madness!" Ya know what I mean? Congrats, Miley. I can't wait to see what post you think is worthy of passing this gem off to. What makes Miley laugh? Wait.. Do I want to know that? I'm scared. No, I think we've already established that I must not be normal because you know me, right? Oh hell. Bring it on!

So to give you a little more to laugh at, I found some funny images today when searching Google for "crazy pictures." I don't know why, I just thought it would be interesting to see what came up. Some things were pretty disturbing. I'll let you decide if they are ones I included or not.
This sign needs to be posted outside of a certain family member's house.
Okay, I admit this one was disturbing, but I had to include it. Need some brain floss now? I know I do!
What the...??
I don't doubt that, Hillary.

Because I thought it was cute....
My person favorite, and because I totally believe that. Yes, that means you people! :)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Random Holiday Memories

I'm sorry I have been so neglectful of my followers here, but we had a busy holiday! I went to my parents' town which is about 45 minutes away on Thursday night, and I didn't end up getting home until yesterday. Although Bailey and I came home tired as hell, we had a great time. We had a little bit of drama on Saturday night when we decided that my estranged sister is just plain strange like we always thought, but I won't bore you with that tale. Other than that, it was a great time had by all. Of course, too much money was spent and there was a lot of planning for 10 seconds of unwrapping to end it all way too quickly, but still... I hope you all had a great holiday, too. I look forward to catching up on my Reader and seeing what you all were up to and what goodies you got for Christmas.

I got a Kindle, which I was thrilled about! Ever since my sister and my dad got one, my book supply has been cut off. Now I can get my own a bit cheaper through the Kindle. It's really too bad we can't share them that way, but that's the way it goes.

First I wanted to ask your opinion about something. I was taking care of a neighbor's animals for a few days last week before the holiday, so she had a list of things she needed me to do for her two cats and one dog. The night I went over to receive instructions, she picks up this bag that was laying on top of the Rubbermaid container of kitty litter and hands it to me. Now I thought it was probably a treat for Bailey or something, but she says, "Here, this is some banana bread for you."

I ended up coming home, looking down at the bag in my hand, and walking straight to the garbage to throw it away. Am I horrible for being that way? I mean, it was sitting on her CAT LITTER! Whether it was touching it or not, SHE'S been handling the litter when she has touched that container in the past. I'm sorry, but that was just gross!

Keeping her animals was a trip anyway, and I really hope she decides not to make the trip she had planned for this week. Her damn dog wouldn't go outside the first night. She was huddled in the corner of her bedroom shaking like I was the Jolly Green Giant come to eat her. What the.. ?? The dog knows me, for God's sake! The cats weren't any problem, other than having to clean out the litter box every day. I have never seen anyone do a litter box the way she does, but I guess everyone is picky about the way they take care of their animals. Of course, the dog had left a present for me on the floor when I got there the next day.

As you know from my past stories, my mother is a trip! She has this habit of affectionately butchering famous people's names, mainly athletes. For example, the long time hockey player Chris Chelios was "Cheerios" to her his entire career. The names she comes up with have brought us hours of amusement. Even our former Steelers coach, Bill Cowher, has always been "Coward" to her. Of course, we all think that one is fitting with the way he coached in the playoffs, but that's a rant for another day.

So while we are talking about the NFL over the weekend she's talking about the Steelers upcoming game against the Cleveland Browns. She says something about that guy "Wiley Coyote." My sister and I look at each other like, "Who the hell is that?" Of course Mom looks to Dad and says, "You know who that Wiley Coyote kid is." He nods and says it's Colt McCoy. Bless him, he's been with her so long that it's just second nature to know what she's talking about sometimes. Needless to say, the whole weekend we would just look around and say, "You mean, Wiley Coyote?" and it would give us a good laugh.
Doesn't this handsome kid look like Wiley Coyote? It's too bad the Steelers are going to have to make him run for his life on Sunday.

On a similar note, a pet peeve of mine is typos or when editors don't do their jobs. Does anyone know where I can get a job doing that? Proofreading and finding little "oops" things in movies are things that drive people around me crazy. It's just me. I can't help it! Feel free to point out mine, because I'd hate for someone to think I can't freaking talk right. Although sometimes, of course, it's on purpose. 

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Jumble Love and Piss Brownies.. You heard me right!

Jumble Mash gave me an award! Isn't it cool? I absolutely love it, and since I love it when people think what I have to say is funny, that makes it all the more better! Yes, I said "more better" but I just got an award, so did you expect me to be coherent? Really! Anyway... Thank you, Jumble Mash! I am so tickled you found me (or I found you.. however it happened) because you have done so much for me and my little blog. You rock, woman! All of you other people, go follow her if you aren't already. You will not regret it, and the fact that she points out funny blogs should show you that she is one funny chica.

So there are a few rules to this award, but they are pretty simple.
1. Thank the person who gave you the award. (Check, check! Done it twice now.Once here and once there.) 
2. Tell a funny story to accept the award.. or at least tell a joke. (Oh the pressure!)
3. Only pass on to ONE other blogger. (Only ONE???? Holy crap! Do you know how hard it is to limit a Taurus???)
4. Now stand up and do a happy dance. (Check, check! Doing that for the second time now, and no, you can't have video of it! It's not a pretty sight. Trust me.) 

Funny story.. Funny story.. Come to me, dammit! I got nothin'. 

(Several minutes later... ) Don't you just want to smack that blinking cursor at times like these? Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to make that cursor blink, anyway?

(Still later... ) Oh, yeah! I was telling a friend about this story on Facebook the other day, and I've been meaning to blog about it, so here goes. 

I used to be the President of the Board for the Booster Club for a local minor league hockey team. We raised money to provide things for the hockey players because most of them basically came to town with clothes, their hockey equipment, and not much else, especially the single ones. Plus, we had parties and things for them. Anyway, we had this guy in the front office who used to fight us every chance he got on things we wanted to do. He really was the only obstacle we had at the time, and he was an arrogant ass. He would tell us we could do something only to wait until we had spent money on said project before changing his mind. Like I said.. He was an ASS!

Now we used to tailgate before and after hockey games on the weekends, because you know southerners will tailgate for anything. Everyone had their specialties that they made and contributed to the food pile, and one of our friends made the most awesome brownies you have EVER had. I think they had some kind of cream cheese icing on them. You know anything with cream cheese is good, because I'm pretty sure it was made by God himself.

So as the night was winding down, I forget for sure, but I think it was my friend Misty who was trying to give away the last of the food. She accidentally flipped the last "awesome brownie" onto the pavement in the parking lot. Five second rule, right? It was immediately scooped up and put back into the pan. Misty and I end up getting into a conversation about how many drunk guys had probably pissed in the parking lot, so there was NO WAY either of us were going to eat it. But we hated to waste it.

Right about this time, up walks the asshole asking if there were any of those brownies left. How perfect! We didn't waste any time handing it over with a smile. We got a hysterical laugh out of how we made him eat the piss brownie, whether there was really piss on it or not. Of course, he thought we were a couple of Simpletons (and I proudly wear that name now thanks to Simple Dude, so note the capital S!) who couldn't help but giggle about his awesomeness as he was walking away. Little did he know. It was our little private victory for all the anguish he had put us through. Well, it wasn't so private since we pretty much told anyone who would listen what we had done. 

Now, who do I give this wonderful gem of an award to? Honestly, I think I'll pay the Jumble Love forward to the Simple Dude, since I already gave him some blog love anyway. Go visit him if you haven't already. He makes me laugh, and I love anyone who makes me literally laugh out loud. 

Kooky Kids.. Of course there's a Santa!

One year when I lived with my best friend, Dee, her boys decided they weren't going to believe in Santa anymore. I think they were 7 and 9 at the time, and they were so proud of themselves as they explained to us that they knew Santa wasn't real. Dee looked mortified! Of course, this is also the woman who would always plant seeds in their minds like, "Don't eat green M&Ms because they'll make you horny" and then send them to me when they asked what that meant.

Personally, I just let them finish their little declaration as I gave Dee a look that said, "I got this!" When they were done, I calmly looked at them and just said, "You realize if you don't believe in Santa, that he doesn't come, right?" They laughed and said, "Of course he still comes, because it's MOM!" Okay, fine. I just told them to go with that thought then, but I was still going to believe! I enjoyed getting all of that stuff from Santa too much to chance it.

They kept up this conversation for pretty much the whole month of December, and I'd just shake my head and tell them, "If you don't believe in him, he won't come." So Christmas night comes and goes, and we decided the boys needed to be taught a lesson. We put all of Santa's gifts in the attic, and their stockings were left empty. However, ours were filled to bursting. Santa was good to us that year!

The boys came out of their room on Christmas morning and went from thrilled to the most deflated looks on their faces. They looked all over the living room, and they picked up their empty stockings. Dee and I just gushed about all of the cool stuff in our stockings. I looked over at one point after many, "Aunt Krissy!"s and "MOOOOOOOMMMM!"s. I looked at the limp stockings in their hands as if seeing them for the first time, and said, "Dude! That really sucks, huh? I told you that if you didn't believe in him, he wouldn't come. But I guess Santa wanted to make an example out of YOU!"
Of course, there was major drama for a little while before the boys looked at each other and finally agreed that they really should have believed in Santa. After that, there was a bunch of "I BELIEVE!!" chanting and some jumping up and down. I told them what a shame it was that they decided that so late because you know Santa only makes house calls one night a year, and they had missed it!

After much crying and screaming, Dee managed to find a note from Santa in the bottom of her stocking telling her where Santa had hidden the gifts if the boys ever changed their minds and decided to believe again. Funny, but we never heard that nonsense about there being no Santa ever again!

I hope all my blogging friends have a wonderful and safe holiday weekend! I don't know when I'll be able to post again, but I'll try to fit something in when I can. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Up on the Rooftop.. With Mom

Since I have gotten all of these great new people expecting some original work by the Taurus, I figured I should give you another installment of my funny parents, specifically Mom being the victim of my attention source of my amusement. If you missed the first one, I think you'll enjoy it at this link. At least, it seemed to be one of my most popular posts to date. So go read it if you haven't already. Go on! But come back, because you will love this one.

My mother is pretty handy around the house. She's always been very creative too, so I don't think there's a room in their house that hasn't been redecorated at least 5 times in the last 20 years or so. She's very particular about her house, as far as being sure things are done right so her house is taken care of. On this occasion, there was a leak in the roof that I'm pretty sure was due to a limb hitting it, since they are fairly surrounded by trees. They live on a golf course, remember? Yeah, you would know that if you had read the other post! Anyway...

Mom decides she just needs to get up on the roof and at least cover the hole herself. How hard can it be, right? She's handy. So she gets a ladder, and up she goes to do her thang!
Of course, Mom decided to do this while no one else was home. And no, she didn't fall! I wouldn't have found that funny, just so ya know! She did, however, have a second thought about her bravery when it came to getting herself back down off of the roof. She didn't like the idea of turning around to put herself backwards onto the ladder to come down without someone holding it. I figure she looked something like this at the time.
Mom then decides she'll just have a seat and think about this for a while. So she cops a squat, and contemplates her situation. Her biggest regret at the time was that her cigarettes were somewhere down on the ground, so she couldn't even smoke herself into a calmer state. Really, Ma? I wonder about your priorities sometimes, but I get it.

Now you have to understand that my mom's neighbor Ed tinkers around his house a lot, too. They are always peering over the fence at each other to see what kinds of projects they each have going on. Ed comes walking out of his house (thank God, or Lord only knows how long she would have been up there!), and she starts calling his name.

Mom: Ed! Eeeeedddddd! EEEEEEEDDDDDD!
Ed (looking all around the yard): I hear you, Barbara. Where the hell are you?
Mom (waving her arms like crazy): I'm up here. On the roof!

Of course, Ed proceeds to bust out laughing, much to my mother's irritation. He goes running over, telling her that she took years off of his life thinking she was hurt somewhere. He manages to give her enough confidence in his ability to hold a ladder that she is able to slowly lower herself down.

As you can probably tell from this and my previous story, my mother seems to get into some hairy situations. If it can happen, it will happen to my mother. God bless her! She's provided us with many years of amusement, and I couldn't imagine this world without her. I'm often asked why I spend so much time with my family when I take time off of work. This is why! There is never a dull moment, and vacation time with them is always a blast. We find ways to laugh at anything and have a great time.

If you'd like to contribute a funny story about your parents like Jumble Mash and Mynx did, then feel free to let me know either here or through email. Guest bloggers bring lots of new followers with them, so call me selfish for being happy to have you raid my blog on occasion.

I'll be unveiling my own award very soon, and I'm excited about that. I also got the most wonderful email yesterday from a follower who hasn't yet commented on any of my posts, but I just have to share some of the wonderful things he said. I'll probably try to do that tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Post-It Note Tuesday

Still REALLY thrilled with all of the new followers pouring in. Thanks so much to my guest bloggers for bringing them in! Glad to have you all, and I hope I help make up your mind to stick around for a long time to come. I will be premiering a new award very soon. For now, on to the Post-its. 

If you would like to make some post-its of your own, go to this site. I think there's a widget to share them with others too, but I haven't looked at that.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Cute Christmas song

This is just a cute Christmas song someone sent me in email today at work that I thought I would share with you all. I don't think I've ever heard this one before.

Kick start the week with a guest post.. from Mynx!

Good morning, blogging friends! I am slow starting this Monday morning, so I'm going to give you the next installment of my "Funny Stories about our Parents" theme that I've asked others to guest post about.

But first, welcome to all my new followers!! I am so excited to see you all this morning! Big kisses and hugs all around, unless that would scare you off because you are the type who needs your personal space. In that case, I'll just smile and wave. I'll get my mind working shortly to give you all a Talkative Taurus original.

I also wanted to let you all know I'm on Twitter now, so go follow me and then come back real quick. My username on there is talktaurus since some douche has the talkativetaurus name I wanted. Or you can let me know what yours is and I'll go stalk follow you.

So on to the guest post. Mynx over at Dribble was kind enough to send me something about her Mom. She has been a huge supporter of mine since I started blogging, and she actually let me post on her blog as well. That was my first guest blog, and everyone seemed to think it was pretty funny. If you didn't see it, go over there and check it out. I'm sure you'll want to go follow her anyway, because she rocks! Enough of my rambling.... Here's Mynx!

Now everybody knows about Dad jokes.  The really bad ones, like when you drive past a cemetery and Dad would say "look, the dead centre of town"  pause for effect, then laugh at his own cleverness.  Funny the first and maybe the second time, but after that a little cringe worthy.

My Dad didn't do a lot of "dad jokes" thankfully, but my mum had a joke she would roll out at pretty much every function and get together.  She would say it was the only joke she could remember. 

So time for me to share it with you.  Possible you may already know it, but too bad.

Two statues, a boy and a girl, had stood, gazing at each other, in a city park for 100 years.
One day an Angel came down from Heaven and said to them "For 100 years you have stood here, in all weather, and I have been instructed to bring you to life for one hour only, so you may do what you want together."

With that there was a flash of light, the statues came to life, and jumping down off the plinths, grabbed each other's hand and ran giggling into the bushes.

There was much rustling and laughing, groaning and more giggling and half an hour later they came out of the bushes, cheeks flushed and looking very pleased with themselves.

The Angel smiled and said to them "Back already? You still have 30 minutes left."

The boy statue looked at the girl statue and as she grinned at him, he grabbed her hand and they ran back into the bushes.

More rustling and giggling came from the bushes, and the Angel, unable to resist her curiosity, quietly crept over to have a little peek.

Peering in to the bushes she heard the girl statue say to the boy statue.

"Okay, now it is my turn to hold down the pigeon, and your turn to poop on it"

Yes I know it is silly, but I still love it.  

Thank you so much for letting me be a part of your blog.  I was so honoured to be asked.


Friday, December 17, 2010

My first guest blogger... Jumble Mash!

Jumble Mash has been gracious enough to be my very first guest blogger. I asked her to do it because she was my very first follower who wasn't already a friend or family member, and because I just love her to pieces! She is wise well beyond her years, so go check out her blog if you haven't already. If nothing else, you have to go over there to check out my new "guest blogger" button I gave her. I think it's pretty cool, if I don't say so myself.

So, on to the post! I asked her to come up with a funny story about one of her parents (since I have so many about mine), and this is what she came up with about Dad over at Unsound Reasoning, who really is her father. Enjoy! I know I sure did! Thanks again, JM.

First of all, a huge thank you to Krissy for allowing me to crash her blog today. I asked her to give me a topic, because I only think I should be allowed to roam freely on my own blog. I’m the type that needs supervision.
So she asked me if I could think of a funny story about one of my parents.
Piece of cake.
I’m of course going to pick Dad. He is the one with the sense of humor anyways. I sat here and thought about some of the funny stuff he has done and I can’t remember a single time with my dad being unfunny. Even at the hospital with Lil Sis over the weekend, he made the doctor draw him a diagram of what was going on inside of Lil Sis and then he proceeded to educate everyone that came to visit with said diagram. It was hysterical, but he was very proud of his little drawing.
I finally (with the help from Dad) decided to go with a night that was more than hysterical and we still look back and laugh at it often.
Setting: College Basketball Game on a cold, cold night.
Year: 2003ish? I was about 17
Characters: Dad, BFF, and Me
Our team had won the game and the three of us were as hyper as ever. We started (for some reason) talking about military tactics and Dad decided to teach us a thing or two.
So we walked out of the coliseum into the bitter cold and our sole mission was to get to the truck without freezing to death or getting attacked by rouge basketball fans.
Dad, being the military man that he is, was our commander. We all had fake walkie talkies, (a.k.a. our closed fists) and stealthily made our way through the huge parking lot.
“Return to Mother Ship. Over.”  Dad said into his fake walkie talkie and then made the pssssht noise they are so notorious for making.
“Baby bird to Big bird. Baby bird to big bird.”  I walkie talkied from behind a tree.
 Dad: Go ahead Baby Bird.
 Me: Suspicious personnel near Mother Ship. Please advise. Over.
             Dad: Big Bird to Baby Birds...proceed with extreme caution. Please confirm.
             Me: Baby Bird to Big Bird. Confirmed. Over.
             BFF: Confirmed. Over.
             BFF and I then proceeded to dart behind trees and actually roll on the cold cold pavement to reach the Mother Ship. Dad stayed in the shadows as well, but was smart enough not to roll around on the ground.
                Now you all have to keep in mind that a basketball game had just let out and so there were people everywhere.
                Dad: {Starts truck with remote starter} Come in Baby Birds. Mother Ship is leaving without us. Move. Move. Move.
                As low to the ground as we could get without crawling, the three of us zoomed between other cars. I’m pretty sure Dad even rolled over a random car’s hood.  BFF suddenly sprouted an imaginary hand gun and of course I had to go bigger and better and was suddenly armed with an imaginary shot gun.
                Dad: Big bird to Baby Birds. Enter Mother Ship with caution. Over.
                Still low to the ground we all crept towards the truck and grabbed the door handles. We all slid into our seats and hurriedly turned off the dome light.
                We were safe. But wait. We still had to get to the home base. The entire ride home, Dad drove as if someone where tailing us. Weaving in and out of traffic (safely) and still using his military voice. We arrived home safely without incident and were honorably discharged from duty.
                When I emailed Dad to ask him to help me remember the story clearly, he said
  “I was providing you expert instruction on tactical movements...high crawl, low crawl, tactical roll, and combat rush while maximizing the effective use of cover (protection from enemy fire...a car, a building, etc.) and concealment (prevents detection by the enemy of your location...but does not stop bullets...such a bushes, a billboard, a tree, ravine)...all to prepare you for survival from the terrorist threat!!!”
Am I my father’s daughter or what?
 P.S. That year, Dad bought BFF and I REAL walkie talkies for Christmas.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Reindeer games for Mom

I've decided to have some guest bloggers, and I figured that getting funny stories that involve our parents would be a great topic. I happen to have a bunch of stories that are hilarious about my parents, especially my wonderful Mom. She will not be happy to have these out there for all the world to see, but then I don't have THAT many followers, right? Ha! She's a good sport, so I'm sure she'll say, "Thanks a lot, BRAT!" And she'll press on with life.

One time when I was in high school many years ago... Wait, it wasn't THAT many years ago.. Okay, it was a good many years ago... Anyway! I was walking home from the bus stop and I noticed that pretty much all of the neighborhood kids were surrounding my back yard. What the ...? I walk in the house to find my mother pacing and freaking out! There was something terrifying in the back yard apparently, but it sure didn't seem to scare all of the neighborhood kids.

Now my parents intentionally bought the house they live in because all that was behind it was a golf course. So they figured no one could ever build behind them, right? Makes sense. But through the years, they have had some interesting creatures wander into their yard because that's the bonus of living near nature. Nature normally loves my mother because she won't let us harm any of God's creatures. (You never know where she has bird's nests around that place.)  This was going to be a first for her though.

Apparently, this scary creature.. or one like it... (And I know I could have gone to Mom's and dug out the picture of the real one, but still!) was inside the fenced-in back yard.
What the hell is everyone looking at?
You have to understand that my mother was all about her yard, and always has been. She had walked into the back yard to find this deer. Her first thought is that the deer is probably thirsty, so I'll go get a bucket of water. Seriously? That was your first thought when seeing a freaking deer in the back yard? I don't know about you all, but that wouldn't have been my first thought. Maybe, "How the hell do I get the deer out of the yard?" Or even, "What the hell?" 

She comes back with her bucket of water for the deer, and apparently the deer decided this lady was loony tunes and needed to get some exercise. He starts chasing her around the yard. 
Not the expression I picture my mom having on her face...
Now, I never knew that deer had a predatory side to them, but she swears it happened. We had an above-ground pool at the time, so here is the deer chasing my poor mother around and around the pool. Have the visual yet? For some reason I have always pictured her running with the bucket of water, too! Ya know, getting soaked and hollering at the deer the whole time, "I was just trying to be nice and give you some water! I'm good with nature. Didn't the others tell you?"

At some point she makes a break for it and runs into the house. I assume she's soaked at this point, because like I said, in my mind she was running with a bucket full of water. 

Somehow word gets around, though I'm not sure there were any actual witnesses to the running escapade. She calls the game warden to come get the deer out of the yard, so we all watch this deer walk around the back yard like he has every right to be there. 

The game warden arrives and wants to put the deer down right in the back yard. What the hell? There are children around, morons! Do you really want to kill Bambi right in front of their innocent little eyes? Of course, we talk them into just tranquilizing the deer so we can tell all the kids that the deer is just taking a nap. When they are able to get close to the deer, they find it had cut itself on its chest probably from the cross ties on the top of the fence when it jumped in. So when Mom moseyed out into the yard, he just got spooked because he didn't want to battle that treacherous fence to get back out. 

Needless to say, we have tormented Mom for many years about her bond with nature and all of the creatures she comes into contact with. Do you have a funny story about your parents you'd like to guest blog about? Let me know! Jumble Mash is coming up with something for me now, and I think Mynx is going to give it a whirl, too. 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Google geniuses

I have seen someone else do this on a blog, and I can't remember who. But I thought it was funny as hell, so I thought I'd try it. Start typing in a Google search and you will see what geniuses out there are searching for.

What I typed in: What the hell

What I got:
1. What the hell is a gigawatt?
2. What the hell is a hufflepuff?
3. What the hell is a g6?
4. What the hell has obama done?

So I thought I would educate my fellow (insert catchy name for my followers I haven't come up with yet).

1. Apparently this is the title to a song by Four Year Strong? Okay, if you say so. I am so out of the loop with modern music.
Awwwww, aren't they festive?
For those of you who thought that was an educational search like me, a gigawatt is one billion watts. So it would curl your hair permanently, my friends. 

2. Apparently this is some group on Facebook (What the hell is a Hufflepuff? is actually the groups name) and it's a reference to Harry Potter's something or other. I'm not into that movie or the books like a lot of people are. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I just haven't seen the appeal. This is the description of the group on the Facebook page.
"For those Hufflepuffs who are ignored by Dumbledore and all the wizarding world :(

Let's raise our voice, Huffies!

Brilliant quote from "A Very Potter Musical"

Yeah, I think someone has been huffing something, anyway. I'm not sure I'd want my group to be called Huffies, but then I guess Puffers wouldn't be any better.
It's almost more disturbing what you get with Google image searches!

3. G6 can refer to many things including a howitzer, a musical note, cars, and planes. I feel pretty confident they were searching for the G6 that was the precursor to the G8 though right? At least I'm hoping they weren't searching for a howitzer! The G6 I am referring to is of course the group of the 6 largest nations that made up the European Union.

4. Now on to the Obama issue... Well, since this search is the one that made me laugh the most, I had to check it out to see what comes up. Apparently, someone cared enough to buy the site Ya know, I don't think I've ever been mad enough to buy a website just to bitch about something. But more power to ya if you have! You would not believe how many sites came up with this question though, and I found it funny that I didn't see one mention of his dumb ass wonderfully deserved Nobel Peace Prize. 
Now do you feel more educated for having read this post? In summary, we have huffing G6 members who don't understand Obama and want to buy howitzers or jolt him with a gigawatt? Hmmmm, I don't think that's what I was supposed to learn from that exercise, but I hope the FBI isn't all over me for saying so. 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Post-It Note Tuesday

I thought I would attempt what Sam does over on A Redhead Named Sam for little tidbits that cross my mind.

So, if you want to do the same, go to this site to make them. It's so easy, you won't believe it. And let me know so I can go check them out when you post them.


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