One of those days...

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Do you ever have one of those days? Of course you do, or you wouldn't be bloggers, and blog followers... Well, most of you. In this case, since I know you are all Animals from The Zodiac Zoo Crew, I think it's safe to say most of us relish in each other's misery. Needless to say, I'm having one of those days...

I sent my professor an email last night asking for help on my assignment, which is something I never do really. I just normally figure it out by myself, 'cuz I'm kinda wise like that. I just couldn't figure out from the examples in the book what he wanted me to do to figure out the answers on this case study. So I wrote him and asked for some guidance.

This was his response today. "It's not a trick question.  Just apply your logic, and go with the numbers that show what you think. 

It will NOT fit into a formula directly from the book.  It calls for your original thinking. 

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I hope this helps." 

No, that doesn't freaking help me! Why the hell am I paying all of this money to be in school and spending my precious time reading a textbook if I am supposed to "use my logic?!" Can you tell I was a bit perturbed? Can you? Well, I was. Okay, I will pull it together now.. kinda. Ahem!

I seem to be surrounded by this kind of thing this week. I've had people argue with me over things I agree with them on. I've had people walk up in the middle of conversations they know nothing about, ASSUMING they do know, and arguing with me. Hello! I really want to just flash one of these cute rabbits at them and then walk away. Sound good? It really does to me!  I mean, surely I can't get in trouble for something that doesn't actually come out of my mouth, right? Why can't the world work that way?

Oh, and you know that fancy new camera I bought? Well, I was excited because I got all of the wonderful accessories I ordered before the camera. Ya know, now I can charge the batteries and be ready to go, right? WRONG! The idiots sent me the batteries without the charger. Thanks, Sunshine! I appreciate that. So you know the charger will probably get here after the camera now. Total bummer....

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To top it all off, I had to go get lunch for some people for a meeting, and it was POURING rain on the worst road in the world to travel on when it's raining. It's one of those roads where you have to straddle the two rivers pooling in each lane of traffic. This pickup truck rushes by me like his ass is on fire, and he shoots this wave of water over my Jeep that was so bad I couldn't see anything for several seconds. I almost had to go home to change my britches after that. Of course, I really should have anyway since I was soaking wet pretty much from head to toe and all the way to my bones. 

Anyway, tomorrow will be better, right? It has to be... I need a cocktail now.

Come join the shout-out party, and find out your new name!

Now for the moment you have all been waiting for... You will officially be named, my wonderful followers, by the end of this blog post. So I have until then to make up my mind for sure, right? Good, because I am still debating between a couple of things, and I don't know how to handle it.

I figured I would go ahead and pimp out... I mean, give a shout-out to everyone who participated in the contest and/or decided to steal my fancy new button. Since your responses and suggestions were so great, I'm putting them all here for everyone's enjoyment. Feel free to comment and give us all a link to your blog even if I didn't link you up here so you can join in on finding some new blogging friends.

Cinderita from The Adventures of Cinderita: Fellow bullshitters (She was worried that was wrong? Not with this crew!)

Amy from This House Gets Crazy at Three O'Clock: Little Lovelies (She did the wonderful drawings on my site, by the way!)

Vicki from Glitter Frog: Bullettes (get it? like bullets but... shit, never mind, she says)

Abby from Abby Has Issues: We could be "calve-aleers" or "bullies" or something with horny in it...

Alessandra from The Life and Times of A. Nighbert: How about Tauries? You know like the Tories only better... Hey, how about Boveeners?

Oilfield Trash from Make Daddy a Sammich: I would say bullshitters but you don't have a dirty mouth. So how about Ballsy Bulls? (Ha! He doesn't think I have a dirty mouth. Tell that to my momma.)

Amber from Amber LaShell Rants and other blogs: Hmmm, maybe Talkers? Is that stupid? I was thinking Bailey Bugs, you know after your dog..but that might be just cause I was looking at a picture when I thought of it. LOL (I thought they were both cute and NOT stupid, by the way! And she did the new design for my blog.)


Yvonne from Writing my life away!: How about "Talkative Readers"?

J.Day from The Ramblings of Charlie Brown: Oh man! I was gonna say "bullshitters"! LOL Oh well, if we stick with the cow thing... um, your "herd"?

ib from The Habitual Hobbit: Krissy's Kurmudgeon's  - A curmudgeon is defined as one that dislikes humanities absurdities. But, see what I did? I replaced the (C) with a (K) to fit better with Krissy, cause it's fu... ahh, forget it. I'm suck. (You most definitely aren't suck, and I SERIOUSLY considered this.)

The Adorkable Ditz from The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps: Taurites, Cow Pies, ChatterCows, Literate Bulls...

lyndylou from The Giggle Fest: How about My Little Taureans?

Don (who doesn't write a blog but should and gives many of us mad blog love and encouragement): Name your followers "Beautiful Babes and Horny Jerks." LOL (Virtual hugs and kisses being sent your way at your request, Don.)


becca from My Life: I like the name Scoobies, or bullpen.

AbsolutelyPrimed from Over Developed, Under Exposed: Hmmmm... Bull Chasers? Running with the Bull?

The Tame One from Thoughts of an Oxymoron: Taureans! Well, except I'm a Scorp, but still. Either way, I'm your bullshitter baby. ;-) (And I love that you are, girl!)


John from Full-On Forward: Total BSFrom... or BuckOff.. How about Matadorians, or Bullfighters..

Emily from Shut Up and Smile: hmmmmm how about your pitbulls. I know it's a dog.. but I think it sounds cool. (So did I!)


Canadian Blogger Girl: Still sticking with your Zodiacs for the name of ur peeps. (She is in the process of moving, but you'll love her when she comes back if you don't already follow her.)


Kat from Tapetum Lucidum: Well naturally you know that I like Rita's "The Bullshitters." ;-) Members of the Bull Pen? Since a Taurus=Bull, Pen=writing, and it's... I'm overexplaining, aren't I? I'm so sleeeeepyyy... (I thought that explanation made it so much cooler!)


Patty from Patty Punker: Toros!

Now, before I reveal the winner that I have not listed yet, I want you all to know I LOVED all of your suggestions. It was very hard for me to choose, and I honestly needed the extra day to make up my mind on a couple of things. But I won't stall anymore... The winner came from...

Average Girl from It's an Average Life (and other great blogs!): THE ZODIAC ZOO CREW

I absolutely fell in love with that one as soon as I read it! Though it incorporates what CBG suggested with the Zodiacs, I think expanding it to The Zodiac Zoo Crew means I will actually call you my Animals for short. I hope you all like it because you are stuck with it now. I thought you all being Animals was kind of fitting since many people give me praise on their blogs for being such an animal lover, and you all know I love you all to pieces!

So there ya go, my Animals. (AG, let me know what website you want your $25 gift certificate from, and I'll be sending it your way.) Thanks so much for all of the help, everyone! And for those who didn't participate, don't forget to give us your link in the comments so others can find you, too.

Update: Since AG is a woman after my own heart, she has chosen for me to donate the money instead to my local shelter. Because she was so generous to give up her shopping trip so readily for something I hold dear, I've chosen to double it. We just saved some puppies and kittens, people!

Seeing red.. like any good Taurus will on occasion

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There are some things that just irritate me to no end and make me see red. Let's see. I'm sure I can come up with at least 5 of these for your enjoyment on a Monday.

#1 - For instance, the idiot who drove up behind me in the pouring rain this morning with no lights on planning to blow my doors off when I couldn't even see him coming. Yes, the little man who did that in his dark green Honda this morning needs to be taken out into the swamp and beaten. You know why this is a big deal? Because that's the same type of moron who gets people killed in our little town all the time because they do something stupid on a highway that runs straight through town where people are going 65+ mph. And you know someone else would get blamed for the accident that idiot would cause.

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#2 - Those damn twist ties that are on everything when you open the packages, especially on toys. What. the. hell! We did not have those damn things secured in there like that when we were growing up. You could just pop things out of the box and start playing, dammit! Am I right, or am I delusional in my flashbacks all of a sudden?

I do NOT remember opening packages to see this when I was young. I remember lots of tape, but tape that even I could break. Do we really need all of that crap in there? I know at Christmas and birthdays most of the kids have lost interest and moved on to something else by the time you can get their toys out of the box. Whoever invented that stuff needs to be whipped with a whole roll of those ties. Am I clear about my true feelings on those things yet? Are ya sure?

#3 - My team losing the Super Bowl.. or Stanley Cup... Okay, my team losing at all! Is that better? My family takes sports very seriously as you saw some of during football season. So it irritates me when we are let down with a loss, although I know we can't win them all (though I wouldn't say that too close to any of my family members).

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#4 - As I mentioned, it's Monday. So a list of irritating things would not be complete without putting "mornings" on the list. I really don't like getting up early, and I hate alarm clocks even more. If I could have a job where I could go in whenever I rolled my happy ass out of bed, I would be thrilled. I really need to get working on a novel so I can become famous and set my own hours. That could happen, right? RIGHT?!!

#5 - People who want to argue over stupid things. One of the guys at work was emailing me and another guy back and forth about something that we all agreed on in the first email. Hello! We are agreeing with you, ya nut. Now either come back with something fun to talk about or press on with life.

If you hadn't noticed by now, "red" is the prompt for Studio30+ this week. Come join us and post your link on the website so we can all enjoy them.

For those who are new around here, you do NOT make me see red, and I'm so glad to have you around these parts. Feel free to give me a nudge if I haven't checked out your blog yet. Sometimes I overlook people even if I thought I was already following you.

I finally got Sister #3 to check out my blog Friday night. She sounded shocked that I was funny. How rude, right? Of course, I'm a hoot. At least in my mind, most of it sounds funny as hell. If you don't think so, then it must be you and not me.

Have a great week, folks! I'll announce the winner of my giveaway tomorrow since I forgot until just this moment that I was supposed to do that today.

Built for speed

For those of you who are like me and have only used point-and-click type cameras, you know the frustration that led to a purchase I made yesterday. You know what I'm talking about. When you see something you just have to get on film and by the time the damn camera is ready the moment is gone. Yeah, that kinda frustration. Like my nieces and nephews doing something thoroughly adorable like this...

My grand-nephew J.. Ain't he adorable??

But what you get on camera is more like this....

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Sorry I didn't have one of my own pictures that fit the bill because I usually delete the ones I don't like. But you know what I'm talking about. They are too busy having fun to pose for you, for God's sake. And heaven forbid you take a picture a second too EARLY and then try to get the damn thing ready for the shot you REALLY wanted. Too late! By the time the camera is ready again, you've missed it.

Well, no more for me! I ordered this little gem yesterday, and I can't freaking wait for it to get here!

Canon EOS Rebel T3i 18 MP CMOS Digital SLR Camera and DIGIC 4 Imaging with EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 IS Lens

This is the new Canon Rebel T3i that can not only snap pictures quickly, but it can also do video if I want it to. Yes, I see video taping Bailey at the water for all of you in our future. Wooo hooo! Are you excited? I sure hope so because you all are going to be graced with some awesome photos and other things once it gets here and I figure out how to use the damn thing. Let's just hope I'm as good as I always hoped I would be with a REAL camera. If not, lie to me, m'kay? My family and friends always seems to think I do a pretty bang up job with my older camera so imagine the possibilities. I am usually the designated picture taker which is another reason I'm not usually IN many pictures. Well, that and because I can't stand to see myself in pictures. It took everything I had to send Amy those pictures to do her drawings of me.

I'm sure my new photos will be fantabulous though! You just wait and see, my people. Oh, that reminds me! You've got a couple of more days to get your butts over to my giveaway and help name yourselves. I'll decide on Monday who gets the prize. I have been thoroughly enjoying the responses so far, and it takes everything I have not to comment on what I like and don't care for. But they are all great, so there's not much I didn't care for.

Don't forget to let me know if you promote it so I can pimp you out.. I mean, give you a shout-out. On that note, I meant to return the favor for my girl Thundercat over at Colorful Rants of a Fed Up Sista. She calls me Little Ms. Keep It Real, which I absolutely LOVED. She is a trip and a half, so you need to go check her out if you haven't already.

Catch all of you crazy folks later!

I tried to get a life.. Honestly!

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Friday night I was bored out of my mind for some reason. Normally I'm fine with my solitary existence, even though my pitifulness is sad for you viewers at times. (Hey, did you know spell check thinks pitifulness is okay? Who knew?! Why hasn't it figured out "ginormous" is a word yet?) Anyway, I texted several people to see what they were up to. (Texted isn't a word yet either, by the way.) Apparently, they were all having too much freaking fun to answer me. Rude, right? I mean, I'm trying to get a life here, people!

Eventually a friend of mine answered and said she was at her nephew's birthday party so I should come out to her sister's place at the river to have a few cocktails with the adults and enjoy the view. I told her I had to change, and she fussed that no one was dressed up. Ummm, I think you want me to at least put a bra on, ya nut! I'm considerate that way.

She ended up meeting me at the store because she figured I would have trouble finding it. Good thing she did because as she took me off the paved road and down this scary path, I'm sure I would have chickened out and gone home had I been taking this journey alone. I mean, talk about being right in the middle of town and feeling like you stepped into the movie Deliverance! I am going to have to take pictures of it for you next time. I was a bit worried about my safety on the first trip.

Source - South Park had George Lucas and Steven Spielberg  make Indy "squeal like a pig." Is nothing sacred to those freaks? NOT what I expected when I did a search for that phrase, although I never expected to search for that phrase!

Of course, I had enough cocktails later on in the night to tell the wonderful host of this party that I felt like I was stepping into said movie as I drove up. I felt bad. Kinda. I mean, I DID really feel that way as I was driving down the path. And yes, I'm calling it a path because it sure didn't look like much of a road! But they were nice enough to invite me to their home.. I'm glad she laughed about it. I was worried. For a second.

We had a pretty good time though. The moon was so full that you could pretty much see the whole river. Well, our piece of it anyway. You know what I meant!

Their house was absolutely beautiful, and I decided that I hate them. My bedroom could fit inside their walk-in closet for God's sake! But I've been invited back for a huge 4th of July thing they do down there every year. So I must not have been too bad of a guest. Unless they regretted it the next day. They are just stuck with me now, suckers!

Monday's are for playing catch-up

I feel like I can't seem to catch up on anything lately. I am "on time" with my school work, but I really need to get this term finished up early so I can have a bit longer off this time. I am SOOO sick of school!

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At work, it's a never ending process of course. I have piles everywhere that seem to never end because people keep throwing things on top of them. Typical, of course. But with the new company owning us now, I'd really like to feel like my head is above water before they come in and start auditing us.

For the animal shelter... Yeah, I have things to do I need to catch up with there, too! I need to get some software bought, and get the financials entered. And I don't even want to THINK about when someone filed the taxes last. Plus, I have a huge event I need to start planning for later in the year.

Finally, my blogging friends... *sigh* I miss being able to keep up with all of your blogs! I am going to try to set aside so much time every day, and I always try to at least read the people's blogs who comment on mine. It's at least giving me a system here. Things will be so much better after June. I just keep telling myself that hoping I'll believe it by the time June gets here.

So I will keep this short and sweet so I can go read some of your blogs while I eat my lunch. One little funny I have to tell you that I ran across... Someone had a slow cooker recipe up for Sloppy Joe's. Okay, I'm sure it's probably delicious, but have you ever thought to yourself, "How the hell could I make Sloppy Joe's even easier than they already are to make? I mean, that 10 or 15 minutes I have to stand over the stove to make them is ridiculous!" Ummm, I don't think so. I bet it takes them longer to put the ingredients in the crock-pot than it takes me to make and eat my Sloppy Joe's. I'm sorry, but there are many things I need made EASIER... not more complicated.

Have a great week, everyone!

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Half-Assed like you've never seen it before!

There have been a lot of posts lately about boobs, or so it seems. I thought I would point out something that has always cracked me up for my Half-Assed post this weekend, that I hope will entertain both the guys and the girls around these parts.

The Simple Dude's brain child

Now I know all of you aren't country music fans, and some might think this is a very hick song. Personally, the video cracks me up more than anything. My niece hates it because she says it objectifies women. I think it shows how stupid boys are and how easily they are stunned speechless and can no longer function because their lower head takes over. If you watch the video, HE isn't doing anything except losing his mind and being sexy as hell. The women are the ones rubbing all over him. I would do the same damn thing if I could get close to that body. I'm sorry, but he just oozes sex appeal and is ALL man in all of his 6'6" glory. Once you see the video, you'll know why calling this a Half-Assed post is a bit funny.

If you know anything about Trace Adkins (and if you don't, let me educate you), he is just a big nut. So I hope you enjoy this in the spirit I think the song and video were intended...

If this offends you, then feel free to press on in your Reader and I hope you enjoy your weekend. I've never been known for pleasing everyone.

Friday foolishness and a new look!

For those who weren't around last night, I revealed in stages my new look. Go check it out here and enter the giveaway, and I might be giving you a shout-out if you play your cards right. Regardless of whether you enter, come see my site and tell me what you think.

Amy over at This House Gets Crazy at Three O'Clock did the awesome drawings on my header. She does such fabulous work that you should all go follow her blog and keep her in mind for your business needs, too! She is simply amazing! What started as a request for her to draw a picture of Bailey turned into an awesome idea to help us create my new blog.

Amber over at Amber LaShell Rants came up with the wonderful blog design and had the patience to sit through I don't know how many "ummm, I don't know what I want" conversations. This whole thing started because of her innocent Friday night Tweet asking if anyone wanted to be her guinea pig. (That statement always reminds me of the line from Dr. Doolittle where the guinea pig asks Eddie Murphy, "Why do they call me a guinea pig anyway? I'm not French and I'm not pork!" That cracks me up every time!) Anyway, I'm sure she regretted that I was the one who answered her, but I was the one with no life sitting at home Tweeting on a Friday night. Ha! I'm super grateful to her for all of her work, and rework, and she writes a couple of blogs I'm sure will catch your attention.

Now I didn't have too many bizarre things happen this week for my Friday foolishness. But I found this laying behind my desk yesterday.

It's no pot of gold, but it brought a smile to my face on St. Patrick's Day. I'm easy, I know.

The pollen is falling like crazy in our southern state. The hood of my Jeep looks like this every day when I go to leave work.

I'm waiting for the urge to claw my face off to start any day now. I'm surprised it hasn't already. When the hell did this sinus problem start anyway? I never had problems growing up around here. Stupid wildlife!

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I took Bailey to the river the other night with a friend of mine to introduce her to the water for the first time since the park near my house was packed with teenagers. She walked on the edges of it at first, then she stepped in a deep hole that took her all the way under. She came up with her eyes as big as saucers and it was ON! She was all over that river after that. I was splattered with mud of course, and with my work clothes on no less, but she had an absolute blast. I told Steph we should have brought my iPod to film it. We'll have to do that next time so you all can see her antics. It was hilarious. She's such a water dog that I knew she'd enjoy it. I can't wait to see her reaction to the ocean now. I'll have to do that this summer.

A friend of mine told me the next day to be careful of gators at the river if I go too close to sunset. What the...?? That crap never even crossed my mind! I would be freaking out if Bailey was innocently playing away and a gator snatched her happy ass.

Well, at least it's Friday, folks! This has been a hectic but productive week, for the most part. Have a great weekend, and go enter my giveaway now. I said GO.. What are you waiting for? You're still reading this, aren't you?

'Cuz I'm a tease like that.. But sometimes I just give it away.

Want a taste of what is to come? Check out my new button! I dare ya to display it on your blog. Ain't it purty??? I'll have to come up with a giveaway to go with the launching. Oh, what should it be?

Let's make it a competition. Come up with a name I should call my followers. Whoever comes up with the best one will get a $25 gift card to your favorite website. So send everyone this way! You have to be a follower to enter the giveaway and display my button on your blog. (If you have one.. I don't want to exclude my friends who don't blog but enjoy that I do.)

*Evil laugh going on with my cocktails!* I love making my _________(s) work for me. What are you people? Well, besides awesome for having the good taste to follow me.

To add a little something extra, let me know if you tweet this, blog about it, send this out on Facebook, or whatever, and I'll pimp you out! Just leave a comment letting me know so I can go see it.

Update: Someone who shall remain nameless (yes YOU Vicki, ya froggy woman) told me that my button was ginormous. It's not when you post in on the side. See, look to the right. The right is -------> that way. :)

A great holiday!

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Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone! Whether you are Irish or not, you have to admit this is a great holiday. There are no gifts to buy, and you have permission to pinch people. What is better than that, huh? Tell me. There's no smooching from lovers that you just want to smack. There's no discrimination against those who don't have children. (Yes, I get offended when going out to eat on Mother's Day and they give me a flower ASSUMING that I'm a mother. Well, now Bailey counts as my baby, but still..) It's an excuse to go out drinking with your friends, although we don't get off work for it.. or rather, off work the day after.

I don't drink beer so the green beer thing has never been a draw for me. I just have never been able to acquire a taste for it. I don't drink coffee either unless it's flavored coffee with some yummy caramel vanilla (or other yummy) creamer in it. Yeah, that's really fattening, so it's not often I do that either. But still...

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I think most of us in the US have roots that go back to any number of countries. It always cracks me up when people try to define themselves by their ancestors. If that were the case, I would be an Irish-German-Yugoslavian-Czech American who was born in Panama. Is that a mouthful or what? This country was founded by those leaving other countries, so I'd just rather call myself an American. That's what we all are, right? Granted, we'd sometimes like to send people back to where they came from, but it's the land of the free whether we always like that or not.

In Columbia, SC, they do a weekend long event that will be this weekend. They kick it off the weekend before by dying the fountain at Five Points near the University of South Carolina green every year. I have never been, but I've heard it's a real blast. They even have their own website for the event. Apparently, they take their Irishness a bit more seriously than I even realized.

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They have a race, bands, a parade, a beauty pageant, dancing competition, and all kinds of other fun things to enjoy. Now that I've looked all of that up, I think I need to go next year! (I will be so glad to be done with school so I can stop saying, "I'm going to have to do that next year.")

Do your states do similar fun things? I know Chicago dies their river green. What do you all do? Is St. Patrick's Day a fun thing for you? Some lifetime I am soooo going to Ireland. That is one of the places I always wanted to go, but we never did when we lived in Germany. From everything I've seen, it's such a beautiful country. And who can't love a country known for enjoying their spirits? I mean, I'm not going there to find a new liver.

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By the way, did anyone have trouble logging in to Blogger yesterday? I couldn't get on to save my freaking life so I couldn't respond to comments or anything. Very strange, I thought. I was just wandering if it was my internet world that was screwed up or if everyone's was. I didn't want you all to think I abandoned you.

And stay tuned for a new look here at Talkative Taurus. I am so excited that it's about to roll out anytime now! I can't thank the ladies who have been helping me enough, but I will attempt to by pimping them now and later..

Go show Amy at This House Gets Crazy At Three O'Clock
and Amber at Amber LaShell Rants some serious love. These ladies have been putting up with my pickiness and helping me above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks so much, ladies! It truly means the world to me that you'd help pretty up this joint.

So everyone, enjoy your St. Patrick's Day! Have a cocktail or green beer in my honor, as I plan to do the same for you. I'm a giver like that. (Notice I showed you the pooch way to do St. Patrick's Day. You knew I had to be original about it!)

Not really a book review.. more of a gripe session..

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Have you ever read a book and wondered, "Why the hell did I just waste those hours of my life? I'll never get those back, dammit!" Well, I bought this book because.. Hello! It has dogs in it, right? Most people who write about animals in their books (from my experience) have a sense of humor and they are fun reads.

NOT this book, and for the love of everything that is my great followers, DO NOT click on the source and buy the damn thing. I'll mail you my copy if you want it that bad. I don't want to give that author any more cha-ching. I didn't want to put the source on there, but I didn't want the copyright police all over me someday.

Anyway.. To begin with, this author obviously has a word-of-the-day calendar on her freaking desk! I read this in paper form before my Kindle so I couldn't look up all the big damn words she decided to put on pretty much every page. I mean you wouldn't believe some of the things she would stick in odd places. I consider myself a pretty well-educated person so I don't normally need to look things up. If nothing else, I can usually figure out what a word means from the context. With her, it was like she just wanted to challenge herself to see how many of these off-the-wall words she could put in there.

My next problem was the storyline. It is supposed to be about a group of people who hang out at the dog park and one of them goes missing. So the others decide to try to find out what happened to her. I thought it was be humorous. NOT! These people were just plain strange, and not in a quirky, fun kinda way either. I wanted them ALL to be missing by the end of the book. And I won't even BEGIN to tell you how freaking stupid the ending of the book was!

In closing on that topic, do not waste your time on this book. A friend at work heard me bitching about it one day so she picked on me like crazy every time she saw me with it after that. I just had to give the author the benefit of the doubt and finish the damn thing. Yeah, I'm that kinda stupid. I just wanted to warn you all since I knew many of you love to read and are animal lovers. Oh, and if you are a writer, this might be a tool of how NOT to write a novel. (I'll feel really bad if the author stumbles onto this post, but maybe she'll change some things in her next novels.)

While we are talking about dumb things, wanna see the wonderfully stupid thing my town did?

Beautiful entrance to an industrial park, right?

Do you know what this expensive little project leads to? Absolutely NOTHING! It is simply an entrance and turnaround to what they hope will someday, maybe, if we pray really hard, industrial park. We have companies leaving our little town, but this is where we'll put our Obama incentive money, by God! Heaven forbid we fix the stinking highway that runs right through the town so I'm not hitting a million holes on the way home every day. I'm so proud that this is where my tax dollars went. Aren't you?

Okay, I'm done with my rants for the day. I have two article critiques to do by tonight, so I better get crackin'.

My family has experienced Serendipity. Who knew?

Some of you have been participating in Studio30Plus' writing prompts, and I must say I have enjoyed the reads. Oh, and the good folks over there featured one of my blog posts in the Weekend Spotlight, so thanks for that. If you have found your way to my blog because of them, welcome! I really don't care how you got here, as long as your ass is here. Now click that follow button and no one will get hurt.

I am kind of glad they put up a new one yesterday, because I was totally at a loss as to what to write about this Monday morning. Except for the fact that I am REALLY not liking losing an hour of sleep to this whole daylight savings time crap. I am not a morning person anyway, so making Krissy get up an hour earlier is really not a good way to start the week. It will probably take me a couple of weeks to get used to this mess, so bear with me. Grouch in the house, folks! I'm going to try hard not to take it out on you all.

Back to the topic at hand.. The prompt for this week is....

Serendipity - Luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for.

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The first thing that came to mind is the story I am about to bestow onto you. (Did I use that right? Screw it.. It's Monday morning so who cares???) I went with my parents on a trip to Pittsburgh a couple of years ago and when we were packing their truck up to come back, we were all taking turns hauling the stuff up the hill for my father to pack it all up. You see, my aunt's house (which used to be my grandparents' house) is on a freaking hill like you wouldn't imagine. Of course, if you've ever been to Pittsburgh and probably parts of West "By God" Virginia, you probably know what I'm talking about. I see those light bulbs going off for some of you. (Damn, that's bright for Monday!) Something like this one to the right.. only prettier...

Anyway.. You have to either park at the top or bottom of the hill, so either way you have a climb to load the vehicle. Dad, of course, is the Chief of all things packing because he has the military precision of being able to load lots of crap into a small amount of space. While we always go on trips with lots of stuff, we always come back from Pittsburgh with a ginormous amount due to the extensive Steelers and Penguins merchandise that must be purchased on every trip.

Needless to say, my suitcase and every other item was loaded down pretty much to bursting. I actually told my father who is in his 70's to let me know when he wanted to throw my suitcase into the truck, and I would do it. The man is strong as an ox and always has been, but he is getting older, ya know? Of course, he did it himself anyway. After the trip, he starts complaining that his shoulder hurts and proceeds to tell us that he thought he felt something when he loaded my suitcase into the truck. NATURALLY, it's Krissy's fault! We wouldn't have it any other way.

The shoulder doesn't get better so he goes to the doctor. There is definitely a tear in his shoulder so they do a stress test to make sure his body can handle surgery. They end up finding a blockage in his heart! Serendipity, right?! This would be a valuable thing to know, no? Ha! Krissy is not at fault anymore, but she is a freakin' genius if you all didn't know that. Well, my family still blames me, but still...

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They send Dad in for a cardiac catheterization which is a procedure they do to determine the amount of blockage. They are expecting to have to put a stint in to help him out. They end up finding that his main artery is like 80 or 90% blocked. (I forget the exact number now.) My perfectionist father is the only one whose body would find a way to pump his blood a different way since he had this blockage.

They tell him he's a perfect candidate for this new robotic procedure where they do surgery on the heart, but they are able to go through in between his ribs instead of cracking his chest open. The only problem is that there are only 5 doctors in the country who do this procedure, so we have to go to Atlanta for it. Okay, so tell us when.

They end up running all kinds of other tests on Dad while he's waiting for his surgical date. Dad tells his doctor that he's been feeling a bit dizzy lately and sometimes nauseous. Turns out the man has a freaking brain tumor! Okay, do I get a pat on the back yet?? Huh? Do I? All because of MY suitcase, the doctors found a just-about total block in my father's heart and a freaking brain tumor, people. Seren-freaking-dipity, I say!

Dad has since had both the heart surgery and brain surgery and he's doing great. He has more energy, (Wouldn't you after opening up that kind of blockage so your heart can actually pump the way it's supposed to?), they were able to lower his blood pressure medicine to very low levels, and he's feeling a hell of a lot better overall. They have even recently decided he doesn't need the shoulder surgery because he's been kicking butt in physical therapy and isn't in pain anymore.

We all like to say he has an angel looking out for him, and I'm sure it's my brother-in-law Art who passed away almost 4 years ago now. But I like to think I had a hand in it... or a suitcase, anyway.

Some house cleaning.. the fun kind!

I have been forgetting to do some things for a while now, so I figured I'd use today to take care of them.

First of all, I don't think I ever formally thanked Mynx over at Dribble.. I won a hot firemen calendar from her a couple months ago that I have been trying not to drool too badly on in this wonderful year of 2011. Just so you know I really got the calendar from my friend Down Under, I'd like you to meet Shane.

Doesn't he make you want to get stuck in a car just so he'll come cut you out of it? Well, I do. I'm willing to work for my eye candy! As long as he does his job with his shirt off like in this picture.

Holy crap! I'd probably need mouth to mouth after he cut me out. No, I would DEFINITELY need mouth to mouth after he cut me out.

I put the calendar beside the fridge. What better incentive than to see hot guys looking at you when you go for the fridge, huh? I'm pretty smart that way.

Okay, I'm pulling it together now.. I think. Isn't he purrrrty? Thanks, Mynx!

My next house cleaning chore is to thank Megan Crane (the author) and especially my blogging and Twitter girlfriend Canadian Blogger Girl. She did an interview with Megan a while back on her blog, and I won an autographed copy of one of her books. It came in the mail this week so I thought I'd share it.

And for those who wanted to see the personalization which I absolutely loved about it...

I thought it was pretty damn cool. Thanks, CBG and Megan (not that Megan will probably ever see this)! I will cherish it forever, and I'm sure I'll be singing her praises once I read it.

Finally Vicki at Glitter Frog thought I was special enough to get this little gem.

It came with some instructions I'm sure, but it's Saturday dammit! I am tired and I have homework to do, unfortunately. So I'm sorry if I'm being a slacker on this one. I REALLY love it though, Vicki! Thanks so much, and you all should go check her out. Go on!...  Wait!... Comment here first, 'cuz I'm a comment whore.

Friday Foolishness - 2nd edition

I figured there was no other way to give you all this information without just continuing the craziness that was the first edition of Friday Foolishness. I really didn't expect that to be a catch phrase that I would continue using, but I just might. I guess you'll have to stick around to find out. Now sit your ass down and have a cocktail. It's 5 o'clock somewhere, right? I wish to hell it was here!

One of the girls at work came in and asked us if she could borrow some alcohol this morning. No, not the fun kind. The kind that burns when you put it on a cut. Well, I guess they would both do that. But you know what kind of alcohol I'm talking about!

Of course, I had to ask her what was wrong. I work in the safety department. I'm nosy that way. She proceeds to tell me a story you all will NOT believe. I know I almost didn't.

She shows me this place on her arm that's pretty red and tells me she thought she had a mole there... LAST WEEK! Okay, huh? I mean, I know everyone is worried about cancer and stuff, but looking at her arm it's obvious there was never a mole there. I've cut moles before, since I have them all over me. (Thanks for passing those down, parental units!) Those suckers bleed like crazy, I'm here to tell ya.

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So she continues on by saying that she noticed a couple days after she noticed the "mole" that it was a little red around it. She figured she caught it on something or whatever, so she put Neosporin on it and kept it covered with a Band-Aid for a few days.

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She uncovered it at work this morning to look at it when a co-worker saw it. The girl freaked out and asked her what the hell she was doing. She started explaining her story when the newcomer looked at her like she truly the dimmest bulb in the box. It was a freaking TICK on her arm.

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Let me say that again.... It was a FREAKING TICK! On her arm. That had been there for a WEEK! How do you not know a tick is chewing on your arm for a week in a spot where you could visually see it very easily? I mean, I could understand if it was in her hair or something. No, no I couldn't. But anyway...

She was actually treating the tick with Neosporin and a Band-Aid while it was making it's best effort to give her freakin' Lyme Disease. I just thought that was too bizarre not to come share it with you people. Do you feel enlightened now? Do ya?

Happy freakin' Friday, folks! I am soooo ready for cocktail-thirty to get here. That would be 4:30 to most of you who use clocks to determine when you get off work.

Childhood Dreams

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Most of us can remember things we dreamed of doing as kids. In fact, some of us even had more than one dream so it was hard to imagine which one to pick.

I will say, that's one awesome thing about living in a free country. You can dream of becoming anything you want to be. The possibilities are endless, right? I mean, I swore I was going to be a teacher. Mom says that from the time I was little, I always played "school" and I was always the teacher. Am I a teacher? Nope! That's a whole other story for another day.

Mom believed strongly in keeping kids busy to keep them out of trouble so we were all signed up for things all the time. My sisters were always so athletic and involved in so many things. They played volleyball and softball among other things and they rode horses. I was always kept busy too, but mine was more in gymnastics, dance classes, and for a while cheer leading. Mom even put me in swimming classes which I hated for some reason. I don't know if someone tried to drown me once or what, but I could not learn to swim in that class.

I was always kinda jealous of my sisters because they were so athletic. Sister #3 always picked on me, and still does to this day, that I did gymnastics and other things because I wasn't coordinated enough to play sports. Really? Let me see your ass do a flip on the uneven parallel bars with no coordination, missy! You'd end up looking more like this...

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The balance beam was no picnic either, believe me. But gymnastics definitely gave me flexibility which according to ib over at the Habitual Hobbit makes me naughty (in his post a while back) because I can still bend over and put my hands flat on the floor.

When we moved to New Mexico, it became a big thing for me and my friends to go to the base pool every day. We spent hours cooking in the desert sun, and it was hot as hell for someone who didn't really know how to swim. I mean, I could tread water and do the strokes, but anything that involved putting my head underwater was not happening. Needless to say, I got my ass kicked when I would try to race friends.

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I think I finally asked Sister #3 one day how she was able to hold her breath under water without holding her nose, and she just kinda told me to blow out through my nose while I was underwater. I ended up teaching myself how to do it, basically. After that, I was the SHIT in the swimming pool. That one little thing had eluded me since I was a young child, and just setting my mind to it by myself was all it took.

One day my best friend and I were racing in the pool. I was kicking her tail, as was the trend since I had conquered the water. When we got out of the pool to rest for a little bit, Amy went to get us something to drink. This grown man walks up to me and tells me he had been watching Amy and I in the pool. Well, this was before the days of "Stranger Danger" and we really didn't find anything creepy about that statement. It turned out he was a swim coach who was trying to put together a swim team on base. He was impressed with our swimming abilities and wanted us to come try out.

We were so excited! We would get to swim in a much bigger pool, and we would basically be training by doing exactly what we did every day anyway. We showed up and quickly learned that the hardest part of racing was learning how to dive in the pool properly.

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You don't get to just dive in and think you are going to look like this. I mean, you notice the one that went the deepest in that picture? Yeah, that person will probably LOSE that race all because of the dive. You can't go too deep or it slows you down majorly. So Coach would make us dive into the pool in the shallow end to scare us out of going too deep. I mean, scrape your face on the bottom of the pool one good time, and you'll learn not to do that anymore! Yeah, I did it. 'Cuz I'm adventurous like that. But I belly flopped more than anything trying to make sure I didn't go too deep.

Anyway, we had a blast that summer. I was probably in the best shape ever because of all of the swimming I did, and I'd ride my bike to the pool every day. I was a bit high on myself because I found that I could beat other people besides Amy. I was actually pretty damn good.

Unfortunately, the Air Force had another visions for us... or at least for our fathers. Both of them got orders to move to other bases. We moved to South Carolina, and I can't remember where Amy moved to. Because my father was planning to retire here, they ended up buying a house so we didn't live on base for the first time in my life. Of course, this meant I had no freakin' access to a pool. They really didn't have one in town except at the YMCA, and their pool wasn't that big. They also didn't have swim teams or any open swimming times. I was crushed. Out went my childhood dreams of becoming a competitive swimmer, and to me, doing something that was a hell of a lot more athletic than what my sisters had done.

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The Olympics were always a big deal in our house, especially when it was only every 4 years. Watching the gymnastics and the swimmers was always huge for me. Now I will pretty much watch every bit of it. I live vicariously through these athletes, and I feel so much emotion with their wins and losses. I don't know how many times I've cried from watching them. At least I get to help root for them to make all of their childhood dreams come true.

(As a side note: I was VERY disappointed in NBC's coverage of the last Olympics. Where the hell were all of the personal interest stories we usually have to give us more background on the athletes?? They have two jobs in the world of sports... Horse racing and the freakin' Olympics! Get it right next time.)

So what were your childhood dreams? What did you crazy folks want to be when you grew up?

Why I'm going to hell.. or at least one reason..

Katsidhe over at Tapetum Lucidum cracked me up yesterday (as she usually does) with a post about prudes that we are surrounded by who can't handle it when we get a bit potty-mouthed at times. Okay, she gets a lot potty-mouthed, but so can I on occasion. I should do that NOW since I lost TWO freaking followers because of my stupid news post yesterday. I mean... What. The. Fuck?! Did I offend 2 meth heads or 2 battered women or what? I don't get it. I'll get over it, but making my way to 100 does not happen by going backwards. Although I think I got a new one yesterday so that took some of the sting away. You didn't come here to hear me rant though, so I'll get on with it. Ahem!

Anyway, Kat's post made me think of something that happened several years ago when my potty mouth tried to get me in trouble with the Lord. Well, kinda... We used to have season tickets to our local minor league hockey team who are no longer here. We had a blast at the games, and pretty much everyone in our section had been season ticket holders in the same seats since the start of the team several years before that.

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If you've never been to a minor league hockey game, hockey fans are a hoot! We can be a rowdy bunch, much like the players because these guys are trying to make it to the big leagues so they play hard. We got many people hooked who hated hockey before actually attending a game.

However, this particular night our top goalie was out with a major injury and wouldn't be back for months, if ever. We were all pretty upset about it, but they had to put in the rookie who was this punk kid from Harvard who hadn't had to start a game yet. As a person, I loved him. As a player, he hadn't proven a thing to us yet. Being the minors, we had to have an amateur (someone who just played in the local men's hockey league) dress as backup on the bench that night because you can't just pick up a goalie overnight like you can in the NHL.

I am normally a very supportive fan, but there is only so much a girl can take. This goalie (who we called Luc-pronounced "loosh") was having the worst game in the history of our team. We were down like 6-1 and our goalie let in another puck. After which, I promptly stood up and screamed, "Luc, you are a sorry sack of SHIT!" I'm sure I looked something like this at the time.

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A man who had been sitting in our section for years with his wife and sometimes with his granddaughters who did nothing but color or sleep at the games got up and came over to my seat. He stood in the row in front of me and leaned over so far that I had to lean back to keep him from being too close to my personal space.

He proceeded to go on and on about how he was a preacher and he didn't appreciate my language in front of children. Of course, I looked over his shoulder and his granddaughters were sound asleep. I let him go on for a few minutes, before I stood up so he would back the hell off.

Me: Are you finished? Because I'd really like to say my peace now. You are at a HOCKEY game, Mister. You have sat in this section and renewed your season tickets year after year when you could move anywhere else in this arena. You know how all of us are in this section, and we have never sat here quietly watching the games. Those kids with you are oblivious to what's going on to the point that they could get nailed in the head with a puck! Feel free to move your season tickets, and I'm sure you'll hear much worse than what has come out of my mouth. So you can go back to your seat, get out of my face, and kiss my ass! I am not in church, and I don't appreciate you coming over here to preach at me.

He went back to his seat with a glance at my parents who were sitting beside me who just looked on stunned that he had even approached us. My mother patted me on the back (gotta love that woman!) and my friends who sat in front of me turned around to ask what the hell he had just said to me. Misty, who had 2 small children of her own, promptly turned around, looking right toward him and said, "FUCK HIM!" God bless her. I wanted to kiss her at that point.

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I mean I'm probably going to hell now, but at least I managed to hold my tongue with the man with the exception of telling him to kiss my ass. It was a hockey game after all, regardless of whether or not we live in the Bible Belt. And I'll have plenty of friends there with me when I go, I'm sure.

By the way, he never changed his seats to another section.

P.S. Kat showed her puppies for all of you menfolk's heart health like Oilfield Trash requested. I didn't want to tell you before now because I wanted to finish my damn story. So go enjoy and show her some love for the sacrifice.

In more stupid news...

There are more things wrong with this story than I can probably count. First of all, a meth head decided it would be fun to drive with his wife on the hood of his car. His wife thought getting on the hood of his car would stop him. Hey! Sound like a winning headline waiting to happen? Well, some nutcase or nutcases in California thought it would be a great turn in their lives.

A man in California was apparently trying to leave his home after an argument, and his wife climbed on the hood of his car to try to stop him. The man is a meth addict so that wasn't going to deter him. Somehow I don't think the scene looked anything like this...

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According to the story, she was holding onto the windshield wiper blade of their mini-van as he went for 35-miles and got up to speeds as high as 100 mph, which was witnessed by someone who followed them after seeing the bizarre happenings. What the...? A mini-van going that fast would be a sight all on its own, but the woman plastered to the front of it would have really blown my mind. He eventually slowed down enough so that she could roll off, and the person who has been following them took her to the hospital where she was treated for hypothermia since it was in the 30's that night. 

Okay, this woman has obviously made winning choices in men. He's a meth head.. HELLO! Why would you attempt to hold onto the car if he is determined to drive away? I'm sorry, but there isn't that much love in the world for me. My ex was an alcoholic (long, long ago) and we fought about him driving, but I wasn't going to put my ass on his hood to try to stop his crazy self. 

What's even better is this same winner in the story climbed into a 6 foot deep trash container about a week before this and threatened to drown himself in the 5 inches of water that was on the bottom. Seriously? To begin with, EWWWWWWWWW! And if they had let him do it then, his wife wouldn't have taken that scenic ride on the hood of the van. I know I shouldn't joke about suicide, but c'mon!

I just... *sigh*... I can't even put into words how freaking nuts this whole thing was. My mother always told me that if you lie down with dogs you are bound to get fleas. Do you think fleas could have stayed on this woman at 100 mph? 

Your regularly scheduled program... is back!

Hello, everyone. Did ya miss me? I'm sorry to all of my regular followers for my absence, and especially to the new ones who came here expecting to be entertained. Last week was a crazy ass week! I felt kinda like this all week, both at work and at home.

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Our company has been bought by a much bigger one so we have been making sure we have all of our programs up to snuff for their coming audits. Last Monday was the first day under the new company so it was a crazy time around these parts. I'm optimistic about the new company since my boss tells me that getting my degree might help me advance more with the new owners, but we'll see. I'm glad I'll be finishing my degree in June since we have no idea how our education assistance and other benefits will be yet.

For those of you who saw my one pitiful post last week, I don't think the new dog is going to work out. I told the lady I got her from that I didn't want to inherit someone else's problem. Well, it appears that's exactly what they were trying to make me do, so she is going back to them after work today.

This dog is supposed to be a year and a half old. She had 3 accidents in the house just on Saturday. I've caught her chewing on things, mainly my Dooney & Bourke pocketbook! What the hell? She had toys and bones laying around for her to play with, but she decided my purse and my textbooks would be good chew toys. I'm sorry but I'm not having that. If I wanted to deal with that kind of thing, I would have gotten a puppy.

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I was simply trying to help out someone who wanted to find a home for a pet they didn't have time for anymore. I didn't even feel right trying to find a home for her since I couldn't honestly give the dog to someone else knowing she has issues. I feel bad for Bailey because she was enjoying playing with her, but with everything I have going on I don't have the time or patience for all of that kind of trouble. I swear I wanted to strangle the little thing Saturday night, and I don't normally feel that way about any dog. But she squatted right in front of me to relieve herself on my living room rug without ever going anywhere near the door! I wish I had gotten a picture of Bailey's face because she looked as stunned as I was.

So I guess it'll just be me and Bailey for now. I don't mind making time to play with my baby girl, and she knows how to entertain herself with a bone or other toys when I need time to do things. I need to start exercising again anyway, so it will be good for both of us.

As you can see, I just didn't have time last week to keep up with the blog or your posts. I'll be trying to catch up this week, but I definitely won't leave you all hanging without reading material like that again if I can help it. I am up to 80 followers now! I'm hoping 100 isn't too far down the road, and for that I can't be a slacker. I love having you all here as much as I enjoy reading your blogs.

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Unfortunately, that's how my intentions feel lately since you all are so great at writing in your blogs. I'll be back to entertaining you all on a regular basis once Bailey and I get our house back to normal... which should be tonight!